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By Larry Wachdorf, typed

Charlotte, Dolor, Justina: Jerry's wife, his sister, Harry's wife, first two of whom had recent babies

Jan 13, 1955

Dear You All (At least you should know who you are by yourselves)

    Okay, who's the smart guy who sent me the pillow case with the buttons on it? And holes on both ends, yet. It looks like drop-seat long drawers for a man with elephantiasis. Don't worry, tho, I've found a use for it. I now have the only golf-bag in California with nylon acetate snuggies.

    Ah, but the jacket. It's almost wonderful. I might even wear it again, if I recover. The checks glow. Car spotted me; aimed; got me. Before the ambulance could cart me away two fellows started a chess game across me on the squares. Now I have to pay their hospital board until they finish the game. It would still be a fine daytime jacket, tho, if it didn't have those old fashioned slash pockets in it. Really, what do you make of those paunch purses? Feel like a pool table; 7 in the side pocket. They're useful, which makes them archaic. What would Dior say?

    And don't forget to thank me for the magnificent Christmas you had, courtesy of yours truly. Well, you know it's better to give than to receive, don't you? And there was old self-sacrificing me, ready to make you happy by receiving. But that's me, the Good Receiver (Bears, '53). And you can't hardly get them kind anymore.

    And don't look now (it's too late, in one case at least) but your wives were fairly bursting with pride. Charlotte & Dolor anyway. Not Justina; she missed that picnic.

    And on the subject, may I humbly direct your attention to a calendar? Tax exemptions must be, ah presented? (or maybe delivered?) before the first of January. The only grace allowed goes to Le Miserable. A little mathematics, simple, next time would avoid those annoying January debacles, men. Tch tch and a tosh.

    Anyway, congratulations, felicitations and a year's free supply of diaper rinse. Just turn the little spigot over the porcelain bowl and delivery (stop shuddering, you women) starts immediately.

'Nuff

Larry

P.S. This is a thank-you note? It actually is, from my bottom, and you can't hardly get 'em bigger than that, you know.

L. Oscar

To go to next, click here: 1955 Jan 14